Uh, oops. There was only one other girl in a dress, and one in a skirt. The rest were in soccer uniforms and jeans.

We weren’t quite sure what to expect when we arrived at the high school cafeteria, where the ladies from the Junior Women’ s Club assigned numbers to the  67 entrants. The kids hung their numbers around their necks, and sat down in the participant area.

Just before the Spelling Bee started, they announced that during the competition no one could use the bathroom – now was their last chance. Half the kids got up to pee.

I was worried I might get bored.  But the Spelling Bee was oddly fascinating. Just like on TV or in the movies (or in the Charlie Brown movie - you can also watch it in parts on YouTube), the kids were told the word, had to say the word, spell it correctly and say it again (or they were disqualified). While they spoke into the microphone, the range of the kids’ sizes was surprising, and some kids hunched over it to spell their words, while others reached up to pull the microphone down.

Dori correctly spells a word

Round 1

Of the 67 kids, 8 were disqualified during Round 1, on words including: recite, audible, habit, macaroni, and nylon.

I felt the worst for the first kid who got out. Like in Survivor, who wants to be the first one voted out? The most painful disqualification was the kid who had to spell “correct,” only to be told her answer was incorrect. Every time a kid said a wrong letter, there was an audible sigh or “ohhhh” from the audience. Kids who spelled correctly left the stage with big grins.

Dori correctly spelled “circle” and moved on to…

Round 2

This time, 14 kids were disqualified, on words like: discounted,  permanent, shoulder, knapsack, receipt, radios, weapon, loneliness, and denied.  This round, the gasps came the second the parents heard a hard words, like croquet and camouflage. The only applause was for kids who spelled hard words (like Connecticut and miniature).

Then there was the kid who got the word salmon, and asked for a definition. He then repeated back the word, phonetically: “SAL MON.” He spelled it correctly.

It was at this moment I was quite appreciative that the word announcer didn’t have a Jersey accent.

Dori correctly spelled “expect,” moving on to…

A different picture than the first. Can't you tell? She's spelling another word correctly.

Round 3

At this point, I really began to feel these kids were all set up for failure. At some point, they’re all going to lose (except for the last one). It felt a little cruel. The kids looked dejected when leaving the stage, cuddling up to mom or dad and trying not to cry. The girl next to me got a bouquet of chocolate roses from her mom.

In this round, 5 kids kids were disqualified, for words like acquaint, messenger and carbohydrate. The words started getting longer: crestfallen, fainthearted, Pennsylvania.

Dori correctly spelled “fierce,” and I was able to let my breath out.

Round 4

This round, another 8 kids were booted, for words like: profession, cinnamon, remembered, fatal, business, pyramid and nephew. The other girl wearing a dress, who looked like she could have been in 2nd grade, got the word thistle, and it quickly became clear she didn’t know what it was. She asked for a definition. Then asked for the word to be used in a sentence. She repeated back the word, asking if she pronounced it correctly. Then she spelled it, missing the middle “t.” The audience was clearly upset for her, and after the caller gave her the correct pronunciation, she said a sweet “thank you” into the microphone and left the stage, head held high, to valiant applause from the audience.

Dori spelled “precious” and moved on to…

Round 5

Another 8 kids were disqualified, for words including: sponsor, cassette (as parents whispered to each other that no kid knew what that was anymore), bouquet, skirmish, struedel, barometer and beret.

This round, the audience applauded every kid who got out. I think there was a collective feeling that since the kids got this far, they were heroes (which was spelled correctly during Round 5).

Dori correctly spelled “cavern” and moved on to…

Round 6

Only 5 kids were eliminated this round, to:  suffocated, lilies, empyting, eternity and stereos.

Dori correctly spelled “university,” moving on to…

Round 7

This was a killer. 18 kids remained, and 11 were eliminated this round (for the record: necessary, squadron, molecules, transferred, cartilage, satellite, centimeter, archery)

Dori was eliminated (I promised not to say which word did her in).

The rule for this evening, though, was to end up with 10 kids to move into the finals the next week. Since there were only 7 finalists, the remaining 11 (including Dori) competed for the last 3 spots. To do this, the 11 disqualified kids would go through as many rounds as necessary until there were only 3 left, and they would become finalists too.

Round 8

This round, 4 of the 11 were eliminated, including Dori (the eliminating words were: museum, devilish, opinion, toboggan – I won’t say which was hers).

Round 9

We left at the end of Round 8. Dori got a certificate of participation from the Junior Women’s Club, and an ice cream sandwich at home. She was rightly proud to have made it through 6 rounds, outlasting everyone in her class (though her school did quite well and had several in the final 10 – out of 6 elementary schools). And Dori was no longer mad at me for signing her up.

CRAZY MAP

For fun, a NJ guy created a map which lets you know at a glance, who lives in which areas of the Garden State. For example, he notes that Camden is “worse than Detroit” and that the area near there (Moorestown, Pine Hill…) is made of “Happy White Families.” Though there is a pocket inside there made up of “Huge Houses and Country Clubs.” Hoboken? “Hipsters.” Keansburg and Atlantic Highlands – “Where They Filmed Clerks.” Those residing along the Jersey Shore from Long Beach to a bit past Seaside Heights (you know, of Snooki fame), is “Working Class People and Beach Houses – Springsteen Country.” If you live in Jersey City or Bayonne, you’re part of “Poor Minorities.” And if you live in the South (Salem, Cumberland Gloucester counties), you live in “Pretty Much Alabama.”

Not surprisingly, many have taken offense at the characterizations. Anyone with ties to New Jersey, though, will want to look at the map. It’s meant to be a joke and tongue-in-cheek, the creator said to the Star Ledger. And it’s pretty funny.

INTERSECTIONS

I’ve blogged before about the crazy intersections and exchanges in New Jersey. Click this link to see an overview of the Newark Airport intersection. For those who have visited and have to remain silent as I navigate to/from it for the first 10 minutes, now you’ll know why.

More news from NJ:

–Six clerks at the Motor Vehicle Commission were charged with conspiring to sell fraudulent licenses to those who didn’t have the proper ID. They sold them for $2,500-7,000 each.

-A Newark community advocate was carjacked in November (and rendered unconscious for two days), and was told he’d have to pay $842 to get his car back (a month later, because apparently the car was then used to commit a crime). Mayor Cory Booker tweeted that the city credited him his money back and that it was a horrible mistake. Only that didn’t happen. 

-If you really, really, really wanted a bigger penis, would you get an enlargement from this woman? She’s alleged to have given a 22 year old father of 2 a silicone injection to make his member larger. He died of a blood clot (the silicone was injected into his blood stream). Here’s the shocking news: the woman is not licensed to practice medicine.

-More Newark news. Every year, the city published a list of citizens, businesses and nonprofits that didn’t pay their property taxes on time. Usually this list is 3-4 pages in the Star Ledger. But this time it was 36 pages and cost $72,000. Even Cory Booker was on the list for owing $2,820. The catch? City officials changed its property tax deadline from December to November, but didn’t inform taxpayers until November 22, saying they had to have paid their tax by November 19th, or their property would be put on lien. Oops! That didn’t cause any panic or problems.

-The town of Roselle is thinking of turning their town hall into a restaurant. Because the community needs the money.

-In Piscataway, a 22 year veteran of the police department plead guilty of stealing cocaine from the department’s evidence vault for personal use.

Sometimes their starting position is this:

This is apparently called "the referee's position"

They take turns in this position. I could say what I think it looks like, but I think it’s obvious.

Needless to say, my son is wrestling this season. We figured he’s always wrestling his friends anyway, he should just learn the proper way to do it. He has a saint of a coach who has to corral 39 boys twice a week for 90 minutes into learning about wrestling (versus just attacking each other on the sidelines). And then organize different drills to keep them from climbing the padded walls. And to build some muscle in their spindly arms. Then he has to organize matches, where he and the other coaches pair the kids up based on ability and weight. And he’ a volunteer. (No, he doesn’t shower with them).

We went to our first meet, with what appeared to be 4 teams. Who could tell? Most of the boys were wearing blue and there were boys running around everywhere. They had 5 matches going on at once, each with a volunteer coach screaming instructions at them while they rolled around. Yes, that means 10 men screaming at the same time, in a relatively small gym with acoustics that amplified the sound. Usually those instructions were “stand up!” And then teammates were screaming from the sidelines. Did I mention it was really loud? And that I didn’t bring ear plugs? And that I couldn’t hear Dori talking next to me? Which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, because usually she was making fun of her brother.

the picture doesn't make it look as loud or chaotic as it actually was

The 5 simultaneous matches were on the same mat where the kids were sitting and waiting for their turns. Frequently the boys would crash into another wrestling duo, or roll into the group of boys who were on the sidelines.

The boys all look the same (except you can tell the skinny ones from the fat ones). Zachary is so skinny it looked like his legs were going to break like twigs. And he’s not very good (kind of like Greg in this scene from Diary of a Wimpy Kid). But he’s having fun.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Recent Letter to the Editor: “I was thinking about the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem, where people insert prayer lists in the crevices between the rocks. Wouldn’t it be great if Temple Beth-El in Cranford had a miniature version of the Wailing Wall, about 5 feet high and 10 feet long, on the temple’s front lawn or next to the temple’s parking lot, where people could insert their prayer lists in crevices between the rocks. Even though I’m Catholic, I’m also 1/16th Jewish, and I think it would be a great idea if we Cranford residents of all faiths had our own miniature version of Jerusalem’s Waliling Wall, where we could insert our prayer lists in crevices between the stones.”

Recent Letter to the Editor headline: Let’s make Westfield Officially a Safe-driving Town for Deer, Humans

STUPID RICH PEOPLE

Just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you’re smart. Thank you to reader Stacie for submitting this one from a local NJ paper:

“A Fairfield Terrace resident reported the morning of Nov. 13 two unlocked vehicles, a Mercedes Benz and a Jaguar, were missing from the driveway. Inside the vehicle were not only the car keys, but the valet keys, according to police. Along with the cars, the owner also reportedly lost a wallet containing a driver’s license, social security card and miscellaneous credit cards.”

GREAT COACHES

Yes, Sandusky is bad. But we have a different version of coach here. “A youth basketball coach was charged with assault after allegedly punching a 17 year old girl twice during an altercation on a West Orange street last month.” Two girls were trying to cross the street and they yelled at him while he was in his car, because they thought it would hit them (ed: I’ve done that before). He reportedly yelled at them: “I will beat your ass” and then punched one girl in the nose, trying to hit her in the face after. Fortunately one girl got a cell phone picture of the license plate.

this tree had major damage

This storm was said to be much worse than Irene, at least for trees damage and lost power. 700,000 people in New Jersey alone lost power (I think Connecticut had a similar number, in a smaller, less densely populated state). As of today, about 192,000 in NJ are still lacking power.

We knew there was predicted snow last Saturday, but it was thought that it would be further north in New Jersey. We anticipated rain only. So it was a little surprising when it started falling around 10 a.m. A few hours later we started hearing loud cracking sounds that sounded like thunder. Sitting in my office (which has large windows on 3 sides), I watched large limbs falling from my neighbor’s front yard trees. Then one from our tree came down across our front walkway. When Mark came home from lunch with the kids, I made him move the car to the street, so the car wouldn’t be underneath the phone and electrical wires, and there were fewer tree limbs that could hit the car in the street. I’m guessing our town only got a few inches, but some New Jersey towns got more than a foot.

our front lawn

branches down at the neighbor's house

Most of the leaves are still on the trees, so with heavy, wet snow on top of the leafy trees, the branches just couldn’t take it.

A giant branch fell right on my little garden, which was still producing small green peppers. Mark said that was god’s way of telling me to stop gardening.

my garden is directly below this branch

time to get some new mums

By 2 p.m. we lost power. We hadn’t thought to raid our garage before this. Our detached garage has an electric opener and no side door. The lock on the garage door? We never got the key when we moved in. And we haven’t ever tried opening the small windows (which have things in front of them in the garage anyway). So we couldn’t access our Duraflame logs, our extra BBQ fire starters, our camping headlights, our trash container…

The kids went to a Halloween party Saturday night, and we dodged the tree limbs that were dumped in the street, and had to take numerous detours to get around streets blocked from downed wires and trees. The kids had fun at the party (thanks Jeff and Lori!) and Zack won the costume contest (with Dori a strong contender as well). Then it was home to sleep in our cold, dark house.

the award-winning costume

Zack is ready for bed

Fortunately we have a lot of blankets, so we were toasty in bed, but waking up to a 50 degree house Sunday morning was another story.  Our hardy children are used to a cold house, and camping acclimatized them as well. Unfortunately, two of our tropical Betta fish were not so lucky, and did not survive exposure to 47-50 degree temperatures.

one dead fish

40 or below in my office

Religious school was cancelled, and our awesome neighbors used their small generator to power up the coffee maker, delivering us a carafe of coffee (and milk!). I would have put that in this post even if they hadn’t asked me to mention them.

As it was the day before Halloween, we had to do the ritual pumpkin carving, not so easy in our dark kitchen. And we weren’t smart enough to bring the pumpkins inside earlier, so scooping out cold pumpkins was not a lot of fun.

Dori carved her own Pac Man pumpkin

Zack's pumpkin (I carved it)

Mark invited our family to someone else’s house to watch the football game, and Dori and I went to the library to get our laptops and my phone powered up (and to check email). Everyone in town had the same idea – we finally found the last two outlets, only to discover that the library’s wi-fi was down. I almost cried.

So we headed the football house as well, and our friends were kind enough to store our freezer food and feed us (plus give us power/internet). That night was much colder – below freezing (which meant I could put some of the fridge food outside for the night). Monday morning, Dori’s Betta was dead, and my office thermometer read 40 (though it could have been lower, since that’s where this thermostat stops). We had wrapped her other fish tanks up in towels to retain some of the heat.

While we had slept at the house, many in our area bunked out at hotels or on friends/family’s couches (we did have lots of offers from generous folks).

The kids had school on Monday, unlike several neighboring towns which were out for 1 or more days. Between Irene and F*&%tober, Cranford has used up its snow days for the year. Any more snow and they’ll start losing spring break. Mark showered at the office, and after dropping off the kids at school, I showered at the gym and went to Barnes & Noble to check email.

Taco Dori

Halloween, of course, is quite an ordeal at school. The kids usually come home for lunch to change into their costumes (though I convinced Zack to stay at school, where they have heat). It turned out to be a beautiful day, where it was warmer outside than it was in our house. The school parade happened, though the kids were rerouted in order to keep them away from fallen branches, the snow, the mud and the large branch still (6 days later) dangling from the power line. They had class parties, then headed home at the day’s end to get ready for trick-or-treating. Some towns officially delayed trick-or-treating for safety reasons.

Dori's class

While every year I complain about having to trick-or-treat in the daytime, it was actually good to do so this year, because there’s so much debris in the streets and on the sidewalks. Many areas are cordoned off with caution tape as well. We went around the neighborhood, ending on our street as night was falling. You couldn’t tell who was home because everything was dark.

We thought we should give out tricks instead of treats, inviting the kids into our cold dark house to see how long they survived before running out, shrieking in terror.

As if no power and downed trees isn't bad enough, the neighborhood got TPed the night before Halloween

Trick-or-treat!

We saw the electrical truck at the end of the street (which is still blocked today off because of a tree and wire) and we found out we’d be getting power back within the hour. After giving the guy some candy, we headed back to the house to gather supplies for an impromptu street party. Surprisingly, the wine and beer from the kitchen fridge were still cold, and we all cheered when the power switch was flipped. And Dori’s Betta? She saw it stir a little, and after changing the water from frigid to not frigid, the fish came back to life. A F*&@tober miracle!

the leaves are changing color, but now they're in the street attached to branches.

big branch - you can't see the wires too well, but there are a lot of them

I was surprised how worn out I was after just 2 days with no power, and feel immense sympathy for those still without. Some of those friends seem to be at their breaking point, which is how I felt. Given that I still don’t have a smart phone (I’ll be getting one soon), I felt very out of touch. My phone battery doesn’t last long.

They keep saying how unusual the weather has been in New Jersey these past few years. Of course, that’s all we Kaplans know.

Jesus Book Store

Borders may have gone out of business, but Jesus Book Store still exists!

Ivory Tower

This isn’t the Ivory Tower I imagined when living in Princeton’s home state.

Texas Weiners II

Not sure where Texas Weiner I is.

What are your favorite Route 22 stores???

Welcome to New Jersey!

Look at the middle (white) sign. Though I do love the plethora of arrows.

I heard about this new hip and trendy restaurant, Patria, through my tennis instructor who is expert in all things New Jersey. Check out the link and you won’t believe this kind of hipness exists in Rahway, let alone New Jersey. Last time we ate in Rahway it was at David Drake’s old restaurant, which I believe had the unusual name of David Drake. The New Jersey chef is talked about in the media as being not only a great chef in New Jersey, but also recognized OUTSIDE NEW JERSEY. That was a delicious, expensive foodie meal, and we couldn’t believe that kind of restaurant existed in Rahway. It closed a week after we ate there.

Rahway has a sleepy downtown (another way of saying you worry you’ll get mugged at night) and up-and-coming potential. Because Patria had such a hip and trendy vibe, we risked our lives and parked the minivan block away so we wouldn’t harm the restaurant’s reputation.

We made early bird reservations, 6:30, because we know our kids won’t go to bed until we get home. We thought we’d be the only ones there, but we weren’t – the restaurant was almost full (but the bar was almost empty).

the mixology bar

We had a delicious meal of tapas, plus cocktails from the “mixology bar.” This sounds a little pretentious to me, but the Dark and Stormy Night (with dark rum and ginger beer), was the favorite at our table, and my Pineapple Express (with pineapple and some other stuff) came in a close second. The strawberry cilantro margarita was heavy on the cilantro (I liked it but our friend who ordered it didn’t), and the recommended watermelon something was the least favorite. The house sangria was good (not great).

The room was very dark, rendering my careful application of makeup moot. And it meant our friends had to drag out their old-people reading glasses so they could see the menu.

the Patria dining room - only it was "green" night when we were there - and much darker

Apparently there’s live music and an actual club/dancing scene at times later than 6:30 (and even later than when we left, at the yawn-inducing hours of 9:30). We could see the hip and trendy lounge and dancing area downstairs, plus the private VIP room with “Patria” spelled out in mystical lighting in the next room.

ooh - aah

The downstairs was empty, save for the restroom lady, who jumped up after I stumbled down the stairs (not literally) to use the ladies’ lounge. You see, I did a few too many knee bends in Friday morning exercise class and my thighs are now cramped up in pain, making it difficult to walk downstairs. Thank god for the restroom lady, though. She had a flat iron heated and ready after I used the facilities and washed my hands. I really needed that flat iron to make my hair look even flatter than usual. And she had a big bin of necessary supplies should my hair need spraying, my mouth need freshening, or my hoo-hoo need stuffing. The sign “THESE THINGS ARE NOT FREE” said it all. Too bad for the restroom lady that I left my “pocketbook” (New Jersey speak for purse/handbag) at the table. No tip for her for handing me that paper towel. I know she accepted tips because the big glass jar with several single dollars and some change rested just next to the soap pump (which I pumped myself, thank you very much) at the sink.

the restroom lady and her supplies were not available the day of photo shoot

The bill came, and we handed over our “15% off food only” coupon, scavenged from the (not) hip and trendy free Suburban News that comes on Thursdays with supermaket ads. As we left, we could see that the bar was full and there was a wait for tables.

In that wait, were two Jersey women, deserving of a spot on one of our famed reality shows Jerselicious or Real Housewives of New Jersey. One wore a tight animal print top with her ample boobs popping out. No one got an actual look at her face (though I’m sure she’d benefit from that flat iron in the restroom), because all eyes were on the boobage. The other woman had a similar top, though it was white, and had it all spilling out as well.

unfortunately I forgot my camera and was unable to capture the actual woman in the restaurant, so this will have to suffice

As we stepped outside, there were the Juicy Joe Guidice look-alikes. Perhaps his cousins. And parked right outside the restaurant was a white Rolls Royce with New York plates. Wow! Someone came from New York to this hip and trendy restauant/mixology lounge! We weren’t sure whether the car was rented to up the hipness factor, or people in Staten Island really do like to come to Rahway when their favorite Linden, NJ restaurant is closed for the night. We were glad our minivan was a block away (and that we didn’t get mugged on our way back to it).

By the time we got home at 10, the kids were still up (surprise!) and they were patiently waiting for us to tell them what they could eat for dessert. Apparently when we served them (pizza) dinner before we left, we didn’t specify the reward for eating that and watermelon. They’ve not yet learned to scarf down as much ice cream and candy as they can when we’re gone. I’m sure that day will come.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ginnerobot/2667827972 - creative comons, Ginnerobot photo

You (and everyone in New York and New Jersey) say JYE-ROE, I say (correctly) JHEERO. In response, however, the persona at the counter says, “WHAT?” They have no clue what I’m talking about. Sigh.

And look! If you read the caption, you can find the website to learn more about the adult’s reelection campaign for town council. I wonder who turned in THAT picture and caption to the newspaper? I bet it wasn’t the boy’s mother. The boy had enough punishment already.