Posted by: Debbie Abrams Kaplan | January 19, 2010

Stupid Criminals

We love reading the police blotter from our local paper. It’s almost as fun as reading the one from Atherton, CA (where police were called because there were strange people in the neighborhood – they turned out to be the gardening service).

So here’s a recent one. A gas station employee reported that a customer asked for $20 worth of gas (note: you can’t pump your own gas in NJ – it’s illegal). The attendant accidentaly pumped $23.09 of gas, and then told the customer the total was actually higher than $20. The customer replied: You know what? This one is on you.” And they they drove off. The attendant got the license plate number.

And another. An area guy was charged with theft and posession of subscription (sic) drugs not prescribed to him. How did he get caught? He was on a bike, removing cash from the top of garbage cans around the holidays. People left tips on top of the trash can (remind me never to do that – oh yeah – I don’t). A police officer confronted him, and the biker said he WORKED FOR THE SANITATION DEPARTMENT. Get this – he claims he collects the garbage by bike, and takes it to a central location for pickup. Like the police officer is stupid.

The guy finally admitted to taking the tips (do you think the police officer resorted to waterboarding to get this confession?).  After the guy was taken to the police station, the officer found the illicit drugs.


  1. Love it! Steve and I also like looking at the local police blotter, and I thought we were the only ones! My favorite one we ran across in Belmont (CA) was a report of a theft of a baby Jesus from someone’s front yard nativity scene. The approximate value of said baby Jesus was listed in the report ($30), along with the address of the theft as a plea for its safe return to the front yard manger, no questions asked.

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