Posted by: Debbie Abrams Kaplan | February 16, 2011

Congratulations!

When Mark got a large envelope from the company laying him off, we were surprised to see a big “Congratulations” on the front. After all, the severance packet is expected to arrive any day.

Instead, Mark found a letter from the site president, congratulating him on reaching his five year milestone with the company. Which occurs next month, less than three weeks after his official layoff. Apparently the site president wasn’t let in on the secret. Read on (and keep scrolling down at the end of the letter, I wasn’t able to crop it)

 

They included a brochure of gifts to choose from, many bearing a 10 karat gold emblem of the company logo. “We looked in the catalogue, however we did not find anything with a footprint on my ass,” Mark said.

We also appreciated the letter from the company’s program coordinator, who said “we hope that your gift will be a lasting reminder of our gratitude as well as your association with (company). That’s exactly what we’ll remember the company for as we use our new crockpot. Or panini maker. Or Corningware Bake Set. It’s hard to forget, when we know we might have to pay to  move that item to a new state. For a new job.

 

 

 

 


Responses

  1. The luggage, take the luggage. Clearly most useful for my next job

  2. Ouch! I loved Mark’s comment, though.

  3. Wow, unbelievable! I took liked Mark’s comment and I love how you continue to put an amusing spin on things during these tough times. You both rock!

  4. Michael’s 5 year stuff from J&J was similar, and they waited for MONTHS afterwards to lay him off. 🙂 He chose a very nice razor, and chose the option of receiving the little plaque separately rather than attached to it. I would have loved to see someone try to attach it!

    Not sure whether he thinks of J&J fondly while shaving in the wee hours of the morning, though.

    Loved Mark’s response!!

  5. I actually received my pink slip and a birthday card signed by both the company’s founders on my birthday a few years ago. That was a special moment.

  6. Debbie: You are amazing. All the best to you and Mark and we miss you in Cali.

  7. […] just keeps getting better and better. Another package arrived today via UPS from Mark’s soon-to-be-former employer. Maybe THIS is the severance […]

  8. As I’ve said elsewhere, this really deserves to be in a Sunday Dilbert
    comic strip… wait, something like it already is!

    Wait for it– they still might send you a package of 1000 new
    business cards the way they did for me right after my last layoff.

    “Congratulations” Mark on proving yet again that the truth is funnier
    than fiction. And we’re all rooting for you to get that next job, one
    that lasts a bit longer than this one did.

  9. Debbie-
    You make me chuckle and I’m glad you and Mark have retained such good humor.
    But maybe this is your silver lining — a website/blog with all these funny stories about “being separated” from your employer, as they euphemistically like to say. Think of it, the advertisers could be Monster and other search engines and employment resources.
    Be well and good luck with all!

  10. That letter is priceless. Now that Mark has brought it up, it’s possible the next gift catalogue will actually include that gold footprint on a pair of yoga pants.

  11. Beh. How idiotic was it that they sent you that letter?


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