Posted by: Debbie Abrams Kaplan | May 28, 2013

Bar Mitzvah invitation

Many of our friends are in the midst of planning a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. So are we. My friend Laura shared this one that came through via email. If the text looks familiar when you receive our Bat Mitzvah invitation next year, you’ll know why. We copied it from someone else. Not sure who initially wrote this, but it’s funny.

It is with great stress,

emotional and physical fatigue,

and incredible financial sacrifice beyond comprehension,

that we invite you to join us as our wonderful son


is called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah.

Saturday, May 12th – (yes, we realize its Mother’s Day Weekend)
Temple Israel
14 Coleytown Road
Westport, Connecticut 06880

at the ungodly hour of 9 a.m.

(Even though you don’t really need to be there until catch the real action.)

If you make it through the

3 hour service,

please skip the Kiddush,

(it´s just cookies and cake)

and join us instead for the ostentatious evening meal

(Kosher, my husband´s idea)

which starts at 7 PM,

(not  8 PM … or you will miss out on the 2000 canapés).

Birchwood Country Club
25 Kings Hwy S
Westport , CT 06880
(which we had to join just for this event and you would not believe the initiation fees) 

Please have the courtesy of showing up if you RSVP that you are attending, or you will be billed for

$210.00 a plate if you are a no-show.

Please RSVP as soon as you get this and not the day before the cut-off date.

I can’t take the stress!

Hope you can make it!

Lisa and David Miller

Dress: Black Tie optional
Theme: 007 James Bond
Kippot and Matching Eye Patch

will be provided




  1. Oh my gosh I would love to get an invitation like this! How funny.

  2. We’d love to attend, thanks! 😉

  3. Glad you posted this – so funny – still makes me laugh every time I read it (probably a lot funnier now that I’ve been through it and survived!).

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