Posted by: Debbie Abrams Kaplan | August 4, 2014

My child is killing me

My favorite child, who at this moment is my favorite because she is emailing and sending  me letters from camp, has asked me not to post the contents of her email or letter in a blog post. She knows I usually will, because she now reads Letters from NJ. And it’s killing me that she won’t let me post. Why? Because her letters and emails are truly hilarious. She has a great sense of humor and keen observation skills. And I want to share those with you, because they are entertaining.

So let it suffice to say I will post some of the happenings, but not her funny drawings or anything embarrassing.

-The kids had Chinese food for lunch and learned to add “in bed” after reading the fortune cookie fortunes. “It makes them funny!”  Like this one: “You will take a chance on something in the near future. In bed.” or “Your fortune said you need to make a donation. Give it to the chef. In bed.”

-We saw a picture on the camp website of Dori playing Settlers of Catan, and then she mentioned playing it in her letter, and she won at least twice. Yes!!!! That’s our girl. Our family is that competitive.

-Gluten free cooking class is fun, and apparently gluten free pizza, brownies and cupcakes taste good. Who knew?

-They saw a baby bear at morning line-up. Fortunately it disappeared before Mama Bear came to find it.

-Giving canteen right before lunch is a bad idea – especially when you’re allowed a soda, candy bar and chips.

-My daughter misses her stuffed rabbit more than her parents. I don’t really blame her. Her stuffed rabbit doesn’t make her clean her room. Maybe her stuffed rabbit will pay for her braces. Or buy her new clothes.

There’s so much more to tell, but I can’t. I’m sorry.

What have we heard from Zack at camp? Nada. Though we heard from the infirmary twice. He puked (just like last summer!) and stayed overnight in the infirmary. And through Dori’s letter (she was kind enough to send us a special edition after the sibling gathering on the first camp Shabbat – though we only saw a picture of that from the first week – what about the second week?), we learned that he was psyched to get free Gatorade, though there’s a camp rumor that they put Pepto Bismol in it (Zack apparently disproved that rumor). He couldn’t sleep well in there, though, because they were playing the music from Frozen. And then I got a call from the nurse that he was back in the infirmary a few days later for a minor rash. The pediatric ER doctor was going to apply Benedryl. I hope they didn’t call that pediatric ER doctor just for this rash (and I hope I”m not getting a bill for that). I’m assuming the doctor was someone’s parent and hanging out at camp for the week as the volunteer doctor.

The rash was confirmed by Dori in another letter, where she also said he loves the robotics program we paid extra for. “That’s what I got out of him. He said he would send a letter, but I don’t believe him.” Like a good big sister, she also alerted me that Zack had a sunburn and that she told him to put on sunblock. I’m sure he’ll do that.

For every three pictures of Dori that appear on the camp website, I find one of Zack. Perhaps it’s because one of the camp photographers is Dori’s counselor. Or perhaps Zack is hiding from the camera. I don’t know. But so far I’ve seen 11 pictures of him in two weeks, and about 38 of Dori. Not that I’m counting.

I’ve seen Zack in someone else’s hat, and Dori in two different shirts that aren’t hers. I’ve seen Zack not wearing his swim shirt while trying to contract skin cancer. And playing gaga and doing a conga line. He looks happy. No, I’m not a helicopter parent.

**Postscript** Thank to fellow camp parent Mindi for alerting me to a different place to check photos on the website. Since Zack is doing robotics specialty camp this week (along with maybe one other kid), he was featured prominently in those pictures for the past few days. Woo hoo! He’s ALIVE!


  1. Your blog posts always make me smile. The adult version of the fortune cookie game uses the phrase “between the sheets” and you can say it at the beginning, in the middle or at the end of the fortune. I learned that from my cousin when I moved to California. I’m glad Dori has a sense of humor. It evidently runs in your family.

    • Thanks Phyllis! I learned “in bed” as the adult (or maybe it was late teen) version years ago. Between the sheets…hmmmm.

  2. I want the gluten free pizza recipe! And i watched a VERY long slide show from Erin’s camp, in which she appeared very fleetingly once

  3. […] I posted about how Dori won’t let me post her letters or emails. Thanks to the Power of the People (read on), and some desperate emails from me to Dori, she has […]

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