Posted by: Debbie Abrams Kaplan | October 3, 2014

Teresa Guidice – Orange is the New Animal Print

If you live in New Jersey or follow the Real Housewives of New Jersey – or you just exist – you probably know that Teresa and Joe Guidice were sentenced yesterday for their admission of mortgage, bank and bankruptcy fraud. Teresa got 15 months in prison, to serve before her husband Joe serves 41 months (so their kids won’t have to stay with Aunt Melissa and Uncle Joe Gorga).

That got me thinking…of new Bravo TV show ideas, like:

Orange is the New Animal Print – a fictionalized TV show of Teresa’s life behind bars.

Or maybe Bravo behind Bars – a reality show about Teresa’s real life in prison. They can follow her around as she uses maxi pads to clean the floor and she has her first lesbian sex experience.

-Will they give her a kitchen job, since she’s a fabulicious cook and famous cookbook author?skinny italian

(Not sure why the pictures won’t embed – you’ll have to click I guess).

-Will they give her a job in the commissary where she can get first pick of the approved make-up selections?

And I had other questions about how Teresa would get ready for prison. Maybe she will consult with Martha Stewart or Piper Kerman, who can give her a few pointers about being a privileged (and famous, in Martha’s case) white woman in a federal prison.

Last, my thought was about Halloween costumes. I already wrote for about the top Halloween costumes of this season, one of which is being a cast member from Orange is the New Black. But who knew this topical costume idea would come up in October. Can we guess how many people are going to dress as Teresa in prison garb?

You'll be the hit of the party dressing as Teresa in prison garb

You’ll be the hit of the party dressing as Teresa in prison garb


  1. Love it! No more debating this year’s Halloween costume!

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