Posted by: Debbie Abrams Kaplan | October 3, 2014

What I learned at back to school night

Here are some things I learned at back to school night:

–The gym teachers (male and female) are totally good looking, and my husband did not mind going to the gym period to see the female teachers in their short skirts and high heels.

–Boys smell worse by the end of 6th grade than they do in the beginning of the year. “Puberty hits them like a truck,” said a gym teacher.

–One teacher will make you watch a video of your kids doing classroom stuff, like working on a computer, and when the bell rings, she will physically block the door and make you stay there until the end of the video.

–From this video you will learn: 1. the PTO did not lie when they said they spent your money on iPads and computers. 2. your son can look focused on the iPad or computer even when not playing Minecraft.

–I am actually a GOOD parent for checking my child’s assignment book daily and making sure the homework is completed. This is the reverse of what my child would have me think.

–You will find your son’s lost sweatshirt in his language arts class.

–In spite of doing the right thing and turning in your 6th grade immunization forms on time to your elementary school, you will find out that the middle school doesn’t have them and your son will be barred from attending school by mid-October if proof of vaccination is not received. And you’ll be the only parent in home room that gets this letter at your child’s desk.

–The middle school chairs are only slightly larger and more comfortable than the elementary school chairs.

–You still have to write a note to your child in class about how awesome he/she is, for the teacher to give them during Respect week. You write something really nice, figuring that the home room teacher is going to read it first, and you really need that teacher on your kid’s side and you want her to know that in spite of his difficulties in class, the kid is super awesome. Plus, of course, you want your kid to know you like him.

–Some teachers wear inappropriate clothing for their body type and you just want to yell “change your clothes!”

–The principal is really funny and you wish he was your principal in middle school rather than the mean guy who gave out detention forms for walking on the grass the first day of school.

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