Posted by: Debbie Abrams Kaplan | August 9, 2015

Letters from Dori – Email from Zack

I’m going to start with Dori’s second letter from camp, so this won’t be a massively long post.

Dori’s Highlights:

“Yesterday I did yoga which was really fun because we were basically just laying on the ground the whole time.”

Dori saw part of the movie Dodgeball “about some asshole rich guy who was going to buy their gym so they were going to win a dodgeball contest to make money and get it back.” She saw 30 minutes and hated it. I think we need to make her see the whole thing because the movie is AWESOME.

“I’m going to lunch now, bye! Okay hi again. I just shouldn’t tell you when I leave, it’s absolutely pointless.”

“I saw Zack today. He was with another kid and they were talking, so he has friends! Either that or he paid the kid to hang out with him but I assume the first. That’s the only Zack update I have (in case he’s “not writing”). I didn’t talk to him though, he was too far. He was going to the pool (he wasn’t wearing his swim shirt, thought you should know, Mom).”

“Someone wrote on my bed “LOL I’ve never ditched an activity. #perfectattendance #followingtherules. I was just like if you follow the rules so well, why did you write on the bed?”

“Today I went to the lake and I did the obsticle course in one try. I know that doesn’t sound so exciting unless you try it, but my friend fell off at least three times before completing it…it’s super deflated so I couldn’t climb it but it wasn’t so deflated I could just step over it. So I had to jump on it and flop over the top to the other side like a dead whale. i felt like Mom in that picture from the Rugged Maniac.

“This guidance counselor came to our bunk to talk with us…she told us she likes to think of herself as the “camp mom” and we can come to her with our problems, and no one will get in trouble. She’s the “no trouble” fun “camp mom.” She didn’t tell us where to find her, though, so if we have a problem, we won’t be able to find our “mom.”

“Dad, my email was really long and so are my letters, so maybe you’ll get peer pressured into writing me a nice long email. But I don’t think that’s gonna happen.”

“Mom, your credit card issue sounds fascinating!!! (translation: i don’t really care about your credit card but I love you Mom!!!)”

Dori doing yoga.

Dori doing yoga.

“In yoga, we were lying on the ground and there was a spider dangling down halfway between the ceiling and the ground. Someone pointed it out and asked the instructor to kill it. The instructor said she wouldn’t kill it but she grabbed it by the strand of web and started carrying it outside. I was by the door so the spider was right over my face. In my head I was freaking out, like ‘this is not going to end well!” The spider fell like 1/2 and inch from my face and I jumped up and the instructor was like “oh my god I’m so sorry!” 20 minutes later there was another spider my friend pointed out and I went “Maybe she can drop it on your face too!”

“Response to the email Dad didn’t send:

“I saw Zack today. His skin was flourecent red…He got in a fight today too. So some kid stepped on his foot REALLY HARD and CRUSHED it on purpose. So Zack shoved him off and then the kid hit him and then it just evolved from there. He’s okay. He’s having a lot of fun, though and loves camp. He had a soda when I saw him.”

“Shoutout to Mom’s blog! I love y’all readers!”

On to Zack. So I was wrong about Zack’s email date. He actually emailed me on Saturday, and it was a pleasant surprise.

Zack’s Highlights:

“I passed both jetski tests and can now legally drive a yacht full of old people (i actualy could!).”

“Be expecting some early birthaday gifts when i come home. also i want to hacve fresh browneies when i get home. please make them. i got your letter and enjoyed hearing about the B and B.”

According to the letter, Zack is now “pealing” which makes me think I don’t need to send him aloe vera after all. And one kid got a “concushin” and a counselor broke his arm (presumably the counselor broke his own arm).


  1. These are hysterical!

    Kind regards,


    June D. Bell journalist | writer | wordsmith 650.345.2878 (o) 650.483.3824 (m)


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