Posted by: Debbie Abrams Kaplan | August 17, 2015

Camp: the time when Dori draws a phallic dog

Dori sent two huge letters a day apart, so I will be highlighting portions of each.

“Today my friend’s stomach hurt so my other friend gave her Tums. She’s not supposed to have them though (note from Debbie – no OTC meds in the bunk), and had it hidden in an empty candy box. You’re not supposed to have candy either. That’s like hiding a stash of pot in a bag of cocaine.”

“Tonight we had the Masada Golan (note from Debbie: 9th grade boys/girls divisions) lip sync which was pretty fun. The Masada Golan combined name is “Masgo” which is so STUPID. That sounds like a gas station that you see on the highway in the middle of the night. Like 2 letters are falling off the sign and some creepy hobo is sleeping there.”

“I saw Zack today outside of woodshop. All my friends were flipping out like “OMG! That’s your brother? He looks like you so much!” Literally people have been coming up to me all day like “your brother is so cute. His teeth are adorable – OMG!” Also during shower hour today, the toilet backed up and it was spilling on the floor…we literally had shit and stuff on the floor.”

“Today during snack they gave us heart shaped pretzles. I feel like they bought them after Valentine’s Day and saved them for now. They were called “heartsles” but they might as well have been called “hardsles.”

“I went to ‘culinary arts’ it was actually my first time there because room runs out so fast. Once I got into gluten free culinary arts but this was my first time doing ‘the real thing’ if you will. You basically sit there and hang out while they make you food and you eat it later. It’s so fun!”

“One of the kids there was from Joseph (7th grade boys division). I asked him if he knew Zack and he was like “Yeah. He ripped my shirt” and I was like “HOLY CRAP THAT’S THE KID WHO GOT IN A FIGHT WITH ZACK!” Also I impressed all the 11 year old Joseph boys with my ability to draw a penis dog. Remember when my health teacher said if we see a penis drawn in the textbook to give it to her because her son showed her how to make it into a dog? Well I showed that to them and they were highly impressed. For mom’s blog readers, here is a visual reference:penis dog

“They had the new guitar guy at lunch today. He led the Birkat Hamazon prayer at the end of the meal but he didn’t know it. He was literally looking at the english transliteration posters of it on the wall. It was so slow and quiet and awkward. Also, the other day he did the song “I want it that way” and didn’t know the words. He repeated the chorus like 5 times then some female counselor had to step in and do other parts.”

“Last night we had to sell Shabbat-o-grams. It’s basically a little card and you pay 50 cents and you can send it to your friends with a lollipop attached and write a little message. Apparently we’re selling it for a “good cause” but they don’t tell you what the “good cause is” so for all i know they could be using the money to buy rat traps or toilet paper. We had to sing this song as people started showing up (note from Debbie: she writes down long song). But the thing is we literally had NO people coming up and buying because it wasn’t dinner time and they wanted us to do this song with full enthusiasm the ENTIRE TIME (you know how much I LOVE doing cheers ha ha). So after singing it like 10 times we still hadn’t sold to a single customer and I went “wow this song is REALLY raking in the customers.” The counselor yelled at me for having a “negative attitude” but I thought the joke was pretty funny.”

“Finally it was dinner time and we were actually selling some Shabbat-o-grams. Also super close by the Round Lake kids (note from Debbie: special needs camp affiliated with her camp) were selling rainbow loom bracelets and I felt really stupid because they were making them and being all sweet. All money goes to an orphanage and we were just like ooh! All our money goes to a “good cause” aka buying rat poison and toilet plungers for the camp.”

Dori went to the infirmary because her braces bracket broke and she needed the wire cut.

“The lady took me into the little i (infirmary) where there was a girl sitting over a bucket and there was vomit on her lip. Gross! I told the office lady it was my first time there and she got SO EXCITED. She asked how long I’d been at camp and she yelled to the other women “OMG She’s been here 4 years and she’s never been here before. And it’s just to cut her wire! This is so exciting! She should get an award ha ha!” The other lady was on her phone though so she didn’t give a shit.”


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